I was wondering how everyone else feels when someone comes up to you, maybe comments on your bike, and starts telling stories of how this guy he knew, and that guy he knew, who wrecked or was hit by someone not paying attention, yada yada yada. I stopped by a local restaraunt yesterday with my 08 out front. As I'm leaving and getting my things together (helmet, etc) a guy walks up and starts chatting. That part I don't mind, of course. But he starts with his war stories. I listen, but inside I'm thinking, why the heck are you telling me this stuff. It's bad form ya know? It's like I'm being jinxed. It's one thing on this board to view pics or talk to other guys that have had the misfortune of an accident. But talking to a guy I don't know and didn't ask his opinion kinda irks me when he/she starts in and they don't even ride! Your opinion matters so I'm curious how you feel.
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I work at a church. Often when ladies at church find out I ride I start hearing about there husband's sister's fourth cousin who wrecked and has be in a wheelchair for the last 73 years.
It gets old... I try and listen graciously and ensure them that I ride carefully and that I've had safety training and wear gear and such. They like to remind me I have a wife and children to care for... Because some times I forget you know?
I only mention the church part because it only seems to happen there for me.
I am pretty much a dick in the fact that I have no problems telling people how I feel without sugar coating the truth no matter how bad their feeling may get hurt.
First, I tell them that no one put a gun to your husbands, brothers, uncle's head and made him ride a motorcycle.
And if he died on the bike, I tell them that said husband, brother, uncle; had more smiles on his face while riding his bike and at least he died doing something he enjoyed.
However, because most of these tools have never ridden a bike, they just don't understand the passion which we have towards our hobbie.
The jacka$$ who really bother me are the guys who never learned to ride a bike properly then crashed and now they are disabled for life.
When these guys whine and moan about how dangerous motorcycles are... Blah, Blah, Blah...
Or the A$$e$ who say;" I had to lay it down to save myself..."
Yeah, because the bike and you have sooooo much more control when you are sliding down the pavement.
Try using the front brake next time.
Believe me, living so close to the Dragon, and spending time on the bench hearing these tall tales, you get to hear a lot of sad, tired old stories... Mainly the HD crowd.
Edited by gr8vfr, 02 May 2012 - 08:41 AM.
My wife’s Aunt works in the ER and every Thanksgiving or Christmas get together she has to remind me of all the People she's seen come through the ER because of motorcycles. My last encounter ended with me telling her that If it happens I'd be sure to say hi to her when I get there. I got in trouble for that one. Most times when other people start their "Stories" I look at me watch and start putting on my helmet and gear give a polite "I need to get going" and take off. Annoying? Yes, but I do believe that some people just can't help it.
Not sure where this stems from, is a complete stranger really that interested in your safety? Does it make them feel like they might be saving someones life if their story gets someone to stop riding a motorcycle? Is it envy because they don't have the courage enough to ride so they would rather stop someone who does? Do they somehow feel a connection to their loss by seeing you in your gear and need to tell you their story for some sort of release?
That being said, I can't recall the last time that happened to me but the other day I did have a guy who was a lane over from me at a stop light ask me what I was riding. I told him it was a Honda VFR800, he said "I never heard of it, but that is one nice bike!". A little more back an forth banter about the year, was it new, etc., but he was more interested in what I was riding than his cousin's, sister's, brother's girlfriend story. There were also two other times recently where I was stopped and asked about my safety gear (actually did a post about that) but like I said it's been a while since I got, what I call, the "guilt trip" stories.
I guess I should tell them how I really feel. It doesn't matter if your walking, driving, riding, swimming, whatever, there is always a danger of getting hurt (or worse), I just enjoy the feeling of being on the motorcycle more than the worry of danger to let that stop me from riding. You can also do the counter stories too, about your friend who was killed while walking to the store, the second cousin's best friend's girlfriend who drove off a cliff because she was trying to put on her make up while driving...
[image: View Post]Duc2V4, on 02 May 2012 - 09:16 AM, said:
Not sure where this stems from, is a complete stranger really that interested in your safety? Does it make them feel like they might be saving someones life if their story gets someone to stop riding a motorcycle? Is it envy because they don't have the courage enough to ride so they would rather stop someone who does? Do they somehow feel a connection to their loss by seeing you in your gear and need to tell you their story for some sort of release?
That being said, I can't recall the last time that happened to me but the other day I did have a guy who was a lane over from me at a stop light ask me what I was riding. I told him it was a Honda VFR800, he said "I never heard of it, but that is one nice bike!". A little more back an forth banter about the year, was it new, etc., but he was more interested in what I was riding than his cousin's, sister's, brother's girlfriend story. There were also two other times recently where I was stopped and asked about my safety gear (actually did a post about that) but like I said it's been a while since I got, what I call, the "guilt trip" stories.
I guess I should tell them how I really feel. It doesn't matter if your walking, driving, riding, swimming, whatever, there is always a danger of getting hurt (or worse), I just enjoy the feeling of being on the motorcycle more than the worry of danger to let that stop me from riding. You can also do the counter stories too, about your friend who was killed while walking to the store, the second cousin's best friend's girlfriend who drove off a cliff because she was trying to put on her make up while driving... +1..... I think you expressed it well, I think ppl want to get reasured about anything that crosses their path. If they quit smoking they want to get everyone else to stop too, if they play tennis they'll try to get others to play, and on & on.
It's unfortunate that some don't understand the rules of having a polite conversation, Think of it as always ending on a nice note......... You're looking great ! Don't add for your age ; You look nice in that dress, not for your wt. you're looking good, etc.
Most of the people who tell war stories to me are communicating the following subtext, "you appear to be a smart guy, so why do you take the risk of riding a motorcycle, and a performance motorcycle at that?" The church one kills me, and I get that one as well, because because the focal point of the faith they profess isn't, "let's be safe".
The reality is that our risk on the road is higher than it would be if we didn't ride. However, real living requires a certain amount of risk taking. My kids are raised, I've provided for my family, and my responsibilities are covered. That's why I can ride with a clear conscience.
[image: View Post]Nicole, on 02 May 2012 - 08:15 AM, said:
Start listing off all the people you know who've: died in car crashes, from cancer, etc.
Or tell him that you too have crashed and the resulting pinkie sprain was incredibly painful!!
There are lots of vulgar things to say but it's much more amusing to confuse the endless hordes of mindless sheeple who occupy the planet.
World is full of sheeple and I wish them well. I also remind them (particularly the religious ) that I plan to LIVE until I die and suggest they do the same.
You never see someone walk up to a guy in a 2002 Ford Taurus and start with:
"Nice Taurus! My aunt's second cousin's landlord who lived over in Crooked Fork was killed driving one just like that. Silver and everything, same wheels too. You be careful now, y'hear?"
(and yet they still drive a car themselves)
A motorcyclist in my town was killed when he fell, dismounting his bike.
He was parked, took off his helmet, got off the bike, and I don't know if he hooked a boot or something, but he went off balance and apparently there was some sand on the ground and he slipped and fell, hit the curb and was killed. While parked. Stationary. What are the odds?
At that level, getting out of bed is just as dangerous.
Remindes me of a guy that came up to me at a fueling station(from his car), and started with nice bike...Etc..... and ended with a biker was killed.....Etc.
I said, "That makes me recall a car just like yours that pulled out of a driveway and was T-boned in the driver door by a bike, and it killed the driver of the car and the rider went flying over the car and only had a few scratches on him".
Wasn't true but wtf.....
I guess it comes with the territory! I hear it ALL THE TIME too! We can't allow it to "jinx" us, just got to stay alert and safe. It's an interest in starting a conversation which is not, however, thoughtfully pre-processed... who the heck wants to hear about death and maiming???
Like my motto reads: "Life is a journey, not a guilt trip!"
Edited by PastorGumby, 02 May 2012 - 05:24 PM.
Most people seem to have these stories. Who knows what motivates them to tell a rider they never met before.
I mostly just let it go. No sense in getting cranked up about it. It's their problem, not mine. :rolleyes:
just do what i do, while they're in the middle of a sentence start the bike up and ride away :tour: Is it rude? maybe but who cares its hilarious fun, and drives the point home that no one wants to hear your lousy stories.
To add to gr8vfr's comments, these are the ones that annoy the excrement out of me. "I used to have a 1000 Hyabusa." (doesn't exist). "I used to have a Suzuki Ninja." (doesn't exist) They would then follow this fictional bike with, "It was so #$*% fast I knew I'd kill myself so I sold it." Or they'd say the old HD standby already mentioned: "I had to lay it down....yadda yadda yadda."
When people lay the guilt trip on me, I just tell the truth. I've had a lot of cancer deaths in my family and I'm a firefighter, so I figure something else will get me anyway if I don't wad the bike into a wall first. ;)
I usually tell them that I'm riding this thing because I know 3 people that were killed in car accidents so I quit driving. Total slack-jaw response every time! Almost everybody personally knows an auto accident victim - not that many actually know a sober/licensed/rider-trained/ATGATT moto - victim. and yes I know 3 people that died in auto accidents and none personally that died on a bike..........knock on wood.
[image: View Post]SAFE-T, on 02 May 2012 - 03:26 PM, said:
There is always an element in every story like that either points to operator error or gross misfortune.
Gross misfortune story in the Denver paper a while back: A dog fell off of a railroad trestle above a road right into the path of a cement truck. The truck swerved and took out a motorcyclist headed in the opposite direction. If God wants you today, he just might give a dog a little nudge off a trestle. Some day, somewhere simply has your name on it, period.
[image: View Post]Africord, on 02 May 2012 - 10:26 AM, said:
Most of the people who tell war stories to me are communicating the following subtext, "you appear to be a smart guy, so why do you take the risk of riding a motorcycle, and a performance motorcycle at that?"
I don't hear many war stories, though I do get: 'it's dangerous, why do you ride?' The answer, which I don't mind repeating, is that I got the bug riding dirt bikes as a teenager and in the (dark) periods in my life when I haven't had a motorcycle, I miss it.
Is it dangerous? More than driving a cage, less than skydiving, rockclimbing, etc ... I wear proper gear, maintain the bike, I took lessons (years ago), I ride like I'm invisible ... I do what I can to mitigate the risk, though we all know you can do everything right and still be unlucky.
I find that bikes are a real conversation starter when I'm travelling solo. When I pull into a rest stop after a couple of hours on the road to take a leak, stretch my legs and rehydrate, it's rare that I don't find someone standing next to my bike checking it out. Young guys ask how fast it goes, old guys want to tell me about the bike they had in ... Since I do all my long distance riding in the summer while on vacation, I don't mind spending a few minutes chatting with a well-meaning stranger. Once, I was pulled over in a mountain pass putting on more clothes (after a 30-degree temperature drop due to clouds and altitude), and a friendly couple in a massive fifth wheel asked me in for hot chocolate and a chat. To me, this is just another enjoyable dimension of the riding experience. No one has come over to chat or invite me in for a hot drink when I'm at a rest stop in the Jetta. :laugh:
I have a co-worker who is constantly giving me a hard time about riding, always saying stuff like, "oh you didnt crash on your way to work? surprising..." and bull like that. so one day she comes up to me and tells me about her third cousin twice removed or something who was just hit on his Ducati. with a completely serious face i turned to her and said, "Is his bike for sale?"
Kind of caught her off guard. she called me insensitive but hasnt bothered me since. haha
I think I run the full spectrum from, "hey nice bike" to"wtf is wrong with you on that death rocket". It's annoying, I try to politely let them get it out. Untill they get to something that is completely erroneus and then I feel the need to correct them.
Have heard it constantly, especially after buying the new bike; 'riding is too dangerous' yadda yadda yadda. It all comes down to reducing the risks.
If you ride like a wanker; lane splitting traffic while it's moving, not riding to the conditions or just riding at 10/10ths all the time your luck will run out.
Ride like every tin-top is deliberately trying to kill you, ride within your limits and to the conditions and the risk is minimal.
Besides the enjoyment factor outweighs the risk. Nothing beats a clear morning, no traffic, and a beautiful piece of road.
Got my first bike in June of 85, on a rainy Friday afternoon. On Saturday when I needed to fill up, I got the first "had a Harley-had to lay er down story". Can't believe its been 27 years. One time, when they were cutting my clothes off in the emergency room in a hospital in Laurel, MS (small town USA), you should have seen there faces when they got to the Saran wrap layer! It was raining and I did not have a suit....what can I say, I was 20...
I have been hearing those stories for ever, and I used to get snippy. But now I tell them about all the great (and not so great) guys I know that have been terribly injured on bikes. I try to out-gross them with my buddy from Raleigh that lost his leg while doing about 90 on a quiet, hilly little road by the NC State campus - the victim of a left turn that initiated when he was nowhere in sight on a 35mph road. I tell them about my accidents, and my stupidity (from being young I guess). Then i tell them how wonderful my life is, and how my wife rides now, and loves her bike, and how scared I get when she takes off to go somewhere without me to keep an eye on her.
They are afraid. They are very afraid, and like all humans, they want to commiserate. We are pack animals, and they want to know that you are part of the pack. No need to get torqued. When you assert your passion for riding despite their fears (and your own), they have n other choice but to acknowledge you as an Alpha. And some people just can't stand to not be the Alpha, so they may try to guilt you into feeling stupid about your choices, and in turn validating their own "sane" choice to not ride. And think about it...you know you are cooler than most. Because you ride. Because you suck the marrow out of the (broken) bones of life! If you don't already know you are the coolest guy at your church, just watch the kids faces when you leave the parking lot. Riding a bike because you like to ride is inherently cool. Riding a 1000 Hyabusa, or a Suzuki Ninja isn't, and they know it.
Enjoy being the coolest guy around. And in that blustery, red blooded, Alpha heart, have compassion for the "sheepies". They need your compassion much more than you need anything from them.
Cheers to all you other cool guys!
I've done crazier stuff than ride motorcycles (see avatar) am old and now tell them "My brother was killed in a car, a Volvo no less." Shuts 'em up everytime. (Yes, it's true).
Some times people just want to interact with you.They dont have a bike and they dont really have a life .So they have plenty of time.
So it makes them feel good and gives them something to do.
You cant change them or educate them.
It best just to cut in on thier story by asking them if they think its gonna rain today.
Edited by 5232eagle, 02 May 2012 - 11:52 PM.
[image: View Post]VFR4Lee, on 02 May 2012 - 08:19 PM, said:
Where's Enzed? He crashed and burned and died, crashed and burned and died again.
But was still around last I saw. :happy:
Nah, you're imagining it.
Might have been my ghost, perhaps?
Serially, I'm still going. I've got a few more crashes left in me yet. I've t-boned a car, run over a cyclist, low-sided on gravel hidden by pedestrians standing in the middle of a corner (WTF?), low-sided on a squashed soft drink can, run over a kamikaze pedestrian, landed on my head while ham-fistedly bedding in new brake pads on a greasy tarsnake-infested off-camber road, been taken out by a u-turning driver, fallen over in front of a gas station full of witnesses while taking a cunning shortcut onto the grass verge to get around backed-up traffic, and fallen over because my brain was drugged and turning/braking/indicating/opening the garage door at the same time was too much.
However (but!) I've never collided with another bike, a scroter, a truck, or an animule, so there's still some fun left. :goofy:
I'm with enzed. Many one vehicle incidents. Gravel, road paint, even monty python stops. When my friends give me grief over my spills, I claim my Skill and Cunning got me out alive. I explain that risk makes me feel really alive. And I'd rather go out grinning on my bike than languishing on my couch.
[image: View Post]tc339, on 02 May 2012 - 09:53 PM, said:
I have a co-worker who is constantly giving me a hard time about riding, always saying stuff like, "oh you didnt crash on your way to work? surprising..." and bull like that. so one day she comes up to me and tells me about her third cousin twice removed or something who was just hit on his Ducati. with a completely serious face i turned to her and said, "Is his bike for sale?"
Kind of caught her off guard. she called me insensitive but hasnt bothered me since. haha And "She" called you insensitive............... Good come-back :laughing6-hehe:
[image: View Post]Jmmymc750, on 02 May 2012 - 10:58 PM, said:
Got my first bike in June of 85, on a rainy Friday afternoon. On Saturday when I needed to fill up, I got the first "had a Harley-had to lay er down story". Can't believe its been 27 years. One time, when they were cutting my clothes off in the emergency room in a hospital in Laurel, MS (small town USA), you should have seen there faces when they got to the Saran wrap layer! It was raining and I did not have a suit....what can I say, I was 20...
I have been hearing those stories for ever, and I used to get snippy. But now I tell them about all the great (and not so great) guys I know that have been terribly injured on bikes. I try to out-gross them with my buddy from Raleigh that lost his leg while doing about 90 on a quiet, hilly little road by the NC State campus - the victim of a left turn that initiated when he was nowhere in sight on a 35mph road. I tell them about my accidents, and my stupidity (from being young I guess). Then i tell them how wonderful my life is, and how my wife rides now, and loves her bike, and how scared I get when she takes off to go somewhere without me to keep an eye on her.
They are afraid. They are very afraid, and like all humans, they want to commiserate. We are pack animals, and they want to know that you are part of the pack. No need to get torqued. When you assert your passion for riding despite their fears (and your own), they have n other choice but to acknowledge you as an Alpha. And some people just can't stand to not be the Alpha, so they may try to guilt you into feeling stupid about your choices, and in turn validating their own "sane" choice to not ride. And think about it...you know you are cooler than most. Because you ride. Because you suck the marrow out of the (broken) bones of life! If you don't already know you are the coolest guy at your church, just watch the kids faces when you leave the parking lot. Riding a bike because you like to ride is inherently cool. Riding a 1000 Hyabusa, or a Suzuki Ninja isn't, and they know it.
Enjoy being the coolest guy around. And in that blustery, red blooded, Alpha heart, have compassion for the "sheepies". They need your compassion much more than you need anything from them.
Cheers to all you other cool guys!
Well said Jimmy.
[image: View Post]tc339, on 02 May 2012 - 09:53 PM, said:
I have a co-worker who is constantly giving me a hard time about riding, always saying stuff like, "oh you didnt crash on your way to work? surprising..." and bull like that. so one day she comes up to me and tells me about her third cousin twice removed or something who was just hit on his Ducati. with a completely serious face i turned to her and said, "Is his bike for sale?"
Kind of caught her off guard. she called me insensitive but hasnt bothered me since. haha
HAHA! Nice.
Great responses. Having a few laughs! At least I know I'm not alone with this one. I usually reply with something to the effect of "Yeah, but you limit your chances of having a wreck by being responsible, attentative, etc." I smile and thank them for chatting. It is one of the benefits of riding, meeting people and whatnot. The morbidity I can usually do without. But all in all, it's worth it.
As a former Navy pilot, I just tell 'em "It's a lot safer than flying airplanes off of ships but it is similar....it's not inherently dangerous when done right but it is unforgiving if done wrong!"
[image: View Post]tc339, on 02 May 2012 - 09:53 PM, said:
I have a co-worker who is constantly giving me a hard time about riding, always saying stuff like, "oh you didnt crash on your way to work? surprising..." and bull like that. so one day she comes up to me and tells me about her third cousin twice removed or something who was just hit on his Ducati. with a completely serious face i turned to her and said, "Is his bike for sale?"
Kind of caught her off guard. she called me insensitive but hasnt bothered me since. haha
SICK but I like it ... thats the best reply I have heard !!!! Polite as can be but right to the point. And who knows ...maybe ya score a real nice bit of salvage.
I work at a physical therapy clinic, and when people figure out that I ride I get the same thing followed by a "Aren't you scared??" I just usually tell them that there are many people killed in car accidents, etc, but you can't live your life being scared of everything. I am going to enjoy life as much as possible, and if the good Lord decides it's my time to go, I won't have alot of choice no matter what I'm doing.
I will tell you something funny.. I recently started bee keeping. Now THAT gets some ridiculous responses.. Lol. Whenever you do something the masses aren't familiar or comfortable with they always think your crazy..
Sorry for the lenghty response, this one hits home.
I get this all the time from people who know me (work/friends/relatives) because my younger brother died on a sportbike (R1 Raven) on the Dragon in 2007 (http://www.wate.com/...redirected=true), his fellow riders/friends all say he was not speeding and just lost the front end (lowsided) in a bad spot and went over a unguarded steep section.
I simply tell them that he and I both enjoy riding motorcycles and we are safe and prudent riders, however accidents will happen in life when you are out living it, whether you ride a motorcycle, ski, bungee jump etc..
My brother died enjoying what he loved to do, yes he died earlier than we all expected, but I tell those who ask how I can still ride I say that if my brother knew I stopped permanently because of his death he would be pissed I stopped living my life and doing the things I enjoyed because of his accident.
Our Mother asked me to stop riding and I did only out of respect for her and her loss and sold my 86 700F :S, after a few years I told her I "needed" to start riding again. During that time she was intrigued by what my brother (and I) saw in riding motorcycles, not knowing anything she watched videos of MotoGP and other sportbike stuff my brother had and she said to me one day, "I get why Kevin and you ride now".
Some people don't understand and no matter what you tell them, they never will...I have learned to not waste my breath explaining to them why I still ride and I graciously and simply move the conversation on.
For those that don't know me, when they tell me "riding those things are dangerous blah, blah, blah", I simply nod and usually butcher the quote I read one time by Van Gogh, "The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore"
+ebo, I understand your situation all too well. My younger brother died at 25 in a canoe accident in Minnesota's Boundary Waters. (Went through rapids w/o a life jacket on and wearing his backpacking boots.) Our family was devastated, needless to say. However, no mention was made of the danger. Our family realizes danger is inherent in most adventurous undertakings. And I feel like you that he'd be unhappy to hear his passing would change our approach to life.
I found a tee shirt that sums this up: "The best things in life are dangerous."
I find that people who have addictions understand better....at least the ones that admit they have addictions. Tobacco products, texting, alcohol, caffiene, etc. I often point it out to them that they are doing something that may kill them and they say they can stop any time, or it will never affect them. I then point out that they don't stop and people die from their addictions all the time. It especially turns on a light for the tobacco users because I tell them I'd rather get nailed by an 18 wheeler than to lay in a hospital bed for years with emphasima, or throat/lung cancer.
[image: View Post]pluseb0, on 08 May 2012 - 12:16 AM, said:
For those that don't know me, when they tell me "riding those things are dangerous blah, blah, blah", I simply nod and usually butcher the quote I read one time by Van Gogh, "The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore"
I love this quote, going to start using it myself - sums up how I feel exactly.
I also often tell folks a likely-BS fact I once heard that "90% of those involved in MC accidents were either self-taught or were taught by friends/family." Don't have any clue at all if that's true, but I feel pretty strongly that getting organized training like the MSF course is very important in avoiding the operator error stuff.
First, there are the idiots who aren't riders themselves but who feel compelled to teach you something about risk. As soon as these folks reveal themselves, I just quit talking, zip up, and ride off.
Second, there are the riders who apparently think their boring stories are interesting. As soon as these folks reveal themselves, I just quit talking, zip up, and ride off.
I've worked in hospitals since 1984 and there have been countless encounters with people at work and their blah, blah, blah stories and criticizms... How I address it depends upon my mood at the time. I used to try to educate, but now I usually say something like "Yeah, I ride motorcycles... I also shoot guns... I guess I'm statistically screwed..." or "Just remember that I'd prefer you send a donation to the United Way in lieu of sending flowers to my funeral... thanks." or "yeah, I bought a casket 30 years ago when I was first told motorcycles would kill me, haven't needed it yet, but I've had friends that died in car accidents that could have used it..."
Recently I received a comment that really bothered me... I was stopped at a red light and this punk in the back seat of a dodge neon rolled down his window and yelled "RICE BURNER!!!" I lifted my visor and yelled back "At least I'm not a back seat passenger in a crapbox!" His friends all laughed at him, so that made me feel better lol.
I worked in an Australian government rehab hospital center for a couple of years. A lot of the patients where MVA"S (motor vehicle accident victims), with blunt head trauma, brain damage & physical & psychological problems. Not only did the staff pay out on us bike riders, but I walked passed a therapy session carrying my bike gear & it set this guy (patient) off ranting. I think I've seen a lot of the end results of both car & motorcycle accidents & still ride & drive. Some of the offs these people had on their bikes where not the result of speed or other vehicles. One guy took a corner & hit a wet folded newspaper laying on a other wise dry road.
Fortunately most of the people that come up to talk to me are usually interested in bikes, my particular bike or try to sell me some pot.
End of thread · 53 posts recoveredWayback Machine snapshot 24 May 2012
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