Is It Irresponsible To Ride A Motorcycle As A Parent?

Saw this article in a Bike Bandit news letter [http://www.bikebandit.com/blog/post/is-it-irresponsible-to-ride-a-motorcycle-as-a-parent?roi=echo3-33595218033-34381152-9ed1836cfbd05595fa0e7f9e76cf4003&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=promo_BBNews&utm_source=Fri_032516_BBNews&utm_content=irresponsible_to_ride_parent]

I worked for a Honda motorcycle dealer when my daughter was born and only had a motorcycle for transportation. Got a job at an Acura dealer sold the bike and got an '88 Integra. Did not get a street bike again for 25 years, after my children were on there own. Never thought about it being irresponsible to ride just kind of worked out that way. Did ride some trials and dirt bike riding.

Interested to hear others thoughts on this.

I have life insurance. Also, I bought a VFR over an R1. People die all the time doing "acceptable" things, I believe being very aware of your surroundings is what keeps you alive as a motorcyclist. Yeah, i get nervous when I see a bad rear-ending accident every week on my way to work, but I can still minimize my exposure to those risks. Not to mention, death and dismemberment isn't exactly unheard of in my line of work.

Life in and of itself is dangerous. As I see it, we only have a very short time on this orb,so we may as well be happy. We all take risks on a daily basis that can endanger our lives. Weather that's riding a bike, or our choices in diet. It's a personal choice, but as for myself, I never gave it a second thought. Too many people have died in purely mundane, everyday activities for me to second guess every decision in life. YMMV of course.

Yes.

No.

Depends. Have life insurance (I carry extra, my avatar explains why). I've done more dangerous things than ride a motorcycle. Manage the risk. Be conservative on the bike, wear the gear, always. Besides, when you show up for your kids sporting event in gear carrying a helmet, you are instantly the "cool dad".

A number of my friend's wives tell me it is. I suppose it depends upon one's point of view and perceptions of various types of risk.

No. There are risks all over, and part of our job as parents is to help our children to learn about acceptable and unacceptable risk, about managing risk, and about living one's life rather than going through the motions.

If riding gives you joy; if riding helps you to calibrate your brain (that's me); or if riding is simply important to you, you should do it.

If it's not important to you, don't do it because that is bad parenting.

Rant engaged................if I had my way every so called professional that sprouts this & that is wrong should be shoot. I'm in my 50's & growing up we didn't need pushbike helmets, we made ball bearing billy carts, we climbed trees, etc & kids weren't dying left right & center. I live in NSW Australia & it is known as the nanny state because we have so many laws idiots have made to protect yourself your lucky your allowed to walk on the streets. The world has changed so much with the insanity of terrorism that no one is really safe so people need to live there life's the way the see fit, not the way authorities tell us to live them because they still haven't worked out they can't protect us from the insanity in the world.

Now as to the op question, you have kids that's great but your still an individual & you need your release from the mundane & if that release is riding a motorbike then if you have a loving family they should understand that. There are zero guarantee's you won't chock on a chicken bone eating a family meal, but on saying that there is a thing called self assessment. I was young when I had my first child (wasn't planned) & at the time I road everywhere like it was a race & I new my will power to curb that was pathetic. I sold my bike & didn't ride for about 10 years until both my kids were old enough to understand dad was doing something he enjoyed, the added bonus was I was also older & the race mentality had changed to thinking about when to really open the throttle, not like my young brain the only throttle position was full bore.

Life these days is a risk, it's just the times we live in, live your life because you only get one go at it.

I took my son for his first ride as soon as he could keep his feet on the passenger pegs. He was 5.

Last time he rode with me was a couple years ago. He got his drivers license a week ago. He doesn't ride with me anymore. 6'4" 250lbs. I'm not getting a Goldwing just to give him a ride.

He's a lot more level-headed than I was at 16 so I don't worry much about him.

No.

As a parent it is irresponsible NOT to persue what makes you happy, whole and balanced.

If you don't, how can you be the best parent that transfers wisdom and lust for life to your child?

If our son can learn only one thing from me then that would be "be your own man that make his own choices in life"

I bought my first bike at the ripe 'ol age of 32 - One year after I had my firstborn.

Having ridden ever since and two kids later, I can tell you from a personal experience, that it is more detrimental to a child to have a father who is frustrated at not being able to have his fun, then the potential of losing a father to a motorcycle accident.

Of course, I must qualify this by saying that, if you are the type of person who cannot control the right wrist, you should probably take the above risk calculation with a grain of salt.

Uuuum, let me ask my 85 year young Dad who still rides a CBR 600F back in the Netherlands for 25,000 miles a year.

I was infected at age 4, and now ride all over the USA, 52 years later.

Or is it irresponsible to deliberately make your self unhappy in the presence of kids aqnd show them you give up what you love?

"If you do not have a dream, you might as well die"

George Foreman at the occassion of becoming world champion heavyweight, age 45.

Only if you choose to be an irresponsible parent, such as not wearing proper gear, being a hooligan in front of your children.

In short,

No .

does depend oh how you ride in my opinion .

choices .

does not matter in/on what you roll,

if life decides to cut it all out from under you,

it will .

It is a legitimate question to ask. But there is no "correct" answer.

Ciao,

No.

The irresponsible comes in how you ride.

Just don't ride like a jackass. :wink:

Well, you might be irresponsible if you also didn't have the chance to die of something else. If motorcycling was the only thing that killed parents, then you'd sure be irresponsible to ride. But last time I looked there's a whole boatload of thing that will kill responsible, and irresponsible parents alike. I figure it's your choice. I've ridden since before I had a license and still at it nearly 55 years later. The only time I've not had a bike was when I was in the service, another thing I hold against the Army. :beer:

I bought my first bike (dirt bike) when I was 45. I bought my 9 year old daughter an xr70 at about the same time. We learned together. She has had 5 bikes since then and now rides and races a KTM 200. I got my first street bike when I was 57. I bought her the 04 VFR at about the same time. We took rider safety classes together. Now we ride both street and dirt. This passion has been the best parent/child bonding experience that I could have imagined. Now, she is a more skillful rider on pavement and dirt than I am.

I rode before kids, during kids and after kids, Heck I rode when my wife was in the Hospital having kids, she was wondering when I'd show up, priorities , ya know!

JZH

It is a legitimate question to ask. But there is no "correct" answer.

Ciao,

This is probably the best short answer, but I'm longer-winded than JZH, so:

I have a wife and school-age kids. Ignoring a brief dalliance with an '83 CB750F a decade ago, The 6th Gen I purchased last year put me back in the saddle for the first time in over twenty years. Before I bought the VFR, I did a bit of safety research in an attempt to quantify the relative risk of motorcycles compared to cars. On a per-vehicle-mile basis, street bikes are approximately 20 to 30 times more dangerous than a passenger car.

http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/812148.pdf

I think it's fair to say that motorcycle riding is genuinely "dangerous" in the following two senses:

1. The relative death/injury rate for motorcycling is substantially higher than for most other common hobbies: golf, fishing, woodworking, camping, etc.

2. The absolute death/injury rate for motorcycling is high enough that most of us have friends or acquaintances who have suffered substantial injury.

Given the above, I think it's fair to say that when we ride as parents, we are undoubtedly taking a small but real gamble against our commitments to our family.

When I attempt some self-evaluation regarding my merits as a parent, I go with the old "on-the-plus-side" vs "on-the-minus-side" mental model. In this framework, I easily put "motorcycle habit" on the minus side. (That might be different if motorcycling was something I did *with* my family as some people do.) Even over there on the minus side, though, it's not the top of the list of my parenting vices, which also include: time-sucking Internet distractions, chronic grumpiness, inattentiveness, general laziness, a detestation of birthday parties, etc.

I will say that my primary fear as a dad is not that I will kill myself while motorcycling, but that my son will acquire from me my motorcycle habit and then encounter the kind of tragedy that sometimes finds young men on fast machines.

It's also possible (for people who are not me) to ignore all this and take an optimistic outlook. Many, many people ride for a lifetime with barely an incident. But these are the thoughts that occasionally trouble the mind of a parent who rides.

Yes

I love it and have passed on the passion to my 3.5 year old son. Will he ride with me? If he wants to. Will he ride his own bike some day? If he wants to.

No drinking while riding (or illicit substances). There aren't many activities that give me the same clarity or presence of mind as motorcycle riding/touring, downhill or cross-country skiing, or hiking/backpacking. All these activities are inherently dangerous, or at least perceived to be. The risk/reward ratio for me is worth it. I've been places, met people and seen things I would never have if I hadn't taken up riding. It's changed every aspect of my life and free time - for the better.

Ride when you can! Life is short!

Getting crazy on the waltzers but it's the life that I choose

Dire Straits - Tunnel Of Love Lyrics

I'll probably take a break from street riding when I have kids. Hopefully I'll be able to do other riding like track days, MiniGP, or dirt riding. Needless to say, the bike(s) will be staying, and I look forward to riding with my future children when they are old enough and able.

He'll no, shit ya have ta live life....could be taken out by some teenager texting or crossing the street....FULL TILT BOOGIE BRO.

Could get hurt worse in the dirt...if ya love it do it.....I definitely need my therapy riding or lifes just not fulfilling.

Just my opinion of course

It's no worse than having kids and working high risk jobs like firefighting, police, coal miner, logger, steel worker, soldier etc. We choose these jobs. They aren't forced on us any more than our bikes. The general public doesn't ridicule us about our jobs, but our spouses sometimes do.

It's only irresponsible if you are using your kids as frame sliders

jhenley17

I have life insurance. Also, I bought a VFR over an R1. .

I have both, and both make the same RWHP more or less. The bike underneath you matters not, it's all about the idiot behind the bars in the saddle, and the space between his or her ears. R1, VFR, 1299, S1000RR, matters very little between them. You can either control yourself or you can't, end of story. The R1 is actually more maneuverable and more agile, because it's lighter. So in many ways the R1 is a safer bike than the VFR.

As far as the OP. I think you'll find that the lifeless zombies will poo-poo anything they don't do. I'd rather eat a bullet than live my life the way they do. They get a vanilla car, like a corolla or some crossover SUV or CUV (just an example), watch tv progs every night, and the most exciting thing they do all week is go to Sam's or Costco, maybe the mall, or take their kids to chuck e cheeses. These people usually don't have any kind of hobbies outside of mowing their grass or planting ish in their mulch, They have no passions in life whatsoever. They are the herd, the sheep, however you want to put it. You are only here once and nobody gets out of this deal alive. So with that in mind they'll spend their life watching progs, commuting to their job, and going to the local TGIF's with a coupon. Is that how you want to live?

If you are really into something, like motorcycling, there will always be people around you that try to talk you out of it. Same goes for religion, anything you personally believe that they don't. The more you are into it the more they'll try to talk you out of it. In this case using your kids as the case. Reality is that if you are a motorcyclist, and you are trained (MSF, trackdays, etc) you are probably a better than average driver with better reaction times.

luvtoleanit you hit right on the nose. PERFECT

It's irresponsible to be a parent if you ride a motorcycle! :biggrin:

BrianF

It's irresponsible to be a parent if you ride a motorcycle! :biggrin:

:beer:

I am pleased but take no responsibility.

My son in law rides, and my 3 grandsons will all at least have the chance to learn while young.

I take no credit, they live 1500 miles away. But I am glad for them. :beer:

luvtoleanit

jhenley17

I have life insurance. Also, I bought a VFR over an R1. .

I have both, and both make the same RWHP more or less. The bike underneath you matters not, it's all about the idiot behind the bars in the saddle, and the space between his or her ears. R1, VFR, 1299, S1000RR, matters very little between them. You can either control yourself or you can't, end of story. The R1 is actually more maneuverable and more agile, because it's lighter. So in many ways the R1 is a safer bike than the VFR.

An R1 makes around 80% more power at the rear wheel, but that was more a personal situation. It's easier to behave with 100 hp. I'm more mature and cop-fearing than I used to be, but I still don't think I can be trusted with 180 hp.

Life and death are just part of it...

It is those who crash and live then are disabled for the rest of their lives.

I think that is worse than dying.

Your wife now has to wipe your butt for the rest of your life or until the divorce.

Kids grow up without you participating in their lives, then move away and never to be seen again.

Personally I don't care...

Learn from your parents mistakes. Use protection.

Its a legitimate question ,and the only right answer is the one you work out for yourself. If it is , then I crossed the line twice when I bought my son his fifth gen last year. But I have to tell you , the experiences had touring with my ever aging son ( now 23), are priceless to me. My plan is to use ridding as " our" thing for years to come. I even think he will thank me one day, especially as his life becomes as complicated as mine,but that may be a pipe dream on my part, who knows......;)

While I do not have kids yet, only 25. I agree with those that say it is a case to case decision. My brother who has a 3 year old hasn't stopped riding since he started about 5 years ago. I have no plans to stop riding when I have kids. I work on boats that support oil rigs and am a volunteer firefighter when I am home. Riding a motorcycle is just another thing I do. Only irresponsible way when it comes to being a parent would be putting your pregnant wife/girlfriend on the back of your motorcycle.

I took a hiatus from riding when the kids were young and looking back i regret doing it. I think the best example you can give your kids is to show them you can enjoy life doing the things that make you happy and if the kids join you in that activity thats the best experience you can imagine.Most thing enjoyable in life come with some risk, I would rather die doing something i love than laying on the couch doing nothing.

my dad says i was literally a full time passenger on the back of his harley when i was 6 months old. :cool:

at the of 18 months , my dad was doing 90 trying to pass a dumbass slowpoke who was starting to jamm traffic .. he was startled when he remembered i was on the back. so he looked in the mirror at me.. " you were wearing an eagles football helmet , laughing and waving at everyone.. so i gunned it and left them all in the dust! "

he let my sister control the the throttle on his virago 920 when she was 7..and she maxed it out..

this may explain why my sister and i wish warp speed was REAL!! :laugh:

As I write this I am sitting in a rehab hospital recovering from brain surgery due to an infection and hoping to get to recover some of the use of my left side. We don’t, and will probably never know for sure the source of the infection. This is just one of life’s unlucky breaks. If you want to be a responsible parent and spouse, carry enough life insurance, health insurance and disability insurance to provide for your family. No one gets out of here alive. I think trying to predict whether it will be a motorcycle accident, drunk driver, freak accident, or an unexpected illness that takes you out is a distraction.

Never miss a chance to say “I love you” hug your kids and do the things you love.

joneill

As I write this I am sitting in a rehab hospital recovering from brain surgery due to an infection and hoping to get to recover some of the use of my left side. We don’t, and will probably never know for sure the source of the infection. This is just one of life’s unlucky breaks. If you want to be a responsible parent and spouse, carry enough life insurance, health insurance and disability insurance to provide for your family. No one gets out of here alive. I think trying to predict whether it will be a motorcycle accident, drunk driver, freak accident, or an unexpected illness that takes you out is a distraction.

Never miss a chance to say “I love you” hug your kids and do the things you love.

Hey Joneill, your post is coming from the horses mouth. Very well said. Especially the last sentence.

I hope that things work out well for you and get back to your ol' self. I'm thing about you and your family and sending my best vibes your way.

First you are BORN, in the end you DIE. What you do between these events are what matters. Live life to the full, enjoy it, including kids & family, but don't compromise your soul or you will regret it or blame others for your loss.

There are many ways to die in this world, riding a bike can be one of them, but how would you feel, whilst dying of a medical condition & thinking shit I gave up something I loved & died anyway. I've had a couple of serious bike accidents where I could have died, none of them my fault & I never thought at any point, I should have given this up, or I will give it up if I survive. Well I'm still here & still riding, I'd rather die doing what I love rather than in some bus crash or motoway pile up in a car, which is just as likely !

As always YMMV :)

Joneill, first off, hope you make a speedy recovery. ...couldn't repeat what you said any better after loosing Father, Sister and Son with epilepsy, ALWAYS TELL YOUR FAMILY YOU LOVE THEM. ....live life, and have plenty of both insurances.

Mohawk

First you are BORN, in the end you DIE. What you do between these events are what matters. Live life to the full, enjoy it, including kids & family, but don't compromise your soul or you will regret it or blame others for your loss.

There are many ways to die in this world, riding a bike can be one of them, but how would you feel, whilst dying of a medical condition & thinking shit I gave up something I loved & died anyway. I've had a couple of serious bike accidents where I could have died, none of them my fault & I never thought at any point, I should have given this up, or I will give it up if I survive. Well I'm still here & still riding, I'd rather die doing what I love rather than in some bus crash or motoway pile up in a car, which is just as likely !

As always YMMV :)

There are many ways to LIVE in this world, riding a bike can be one of them...

grammar correction!! :wink:

duccmann

Joneill, first off, hope you make a speedy recovery. ...couldn't repeat what you said any better after loosing Father, Sister and Son with epilepsy, ALWAYS TELL YOUR FAMILY YOU LOVE THEM. ....live life, and have plenty of both insurances.

nothing more frustrating in this world than losing loved ones to medical problems, duccmann thanks for sharing & may the rest of your family live long life's.

Riding a motorcycle make you an irresponsible parent? Nope.

Standing by and watching your kids endlessly buried in electronics make you an irresponsible parent? Yep.

Thanks zRoyz..as some one said, No one gets out alive..ain't that the truth.

Roy

First wife said yes and wouldn't let me ride... so that didn't last long... The sequel on the other hand doesn't seem to mind. I just carry enough life insurance to pay off our outstanding debt and know that if I were to die, my kids will be calling some other dipshit 'Dad'.

Life is short, do what makes you happy.

Dutchy

No.

As a parent it is irresponsible NOT to persue what makes you happy, whole and balanced.

If you don't, how can you be the best parent that transfers wisdom and lust for life to your child?

If our son can learn only one thing from me then that would be "be your own man that make his own choices in life"

Fuckin-ay!!!!

This. A thousand times, THIS! ^^^^^^^^

I'm a son, brother, and parent of two boys. I haven't read through all the replies here, but this post I quoted stopped me in my tracks. I don't consider myself the best parent in the world, the best husband in the world, nor the best son in the world. But what I'm very good at, is letting my children and wife be who they are, whoever, and whatever that is.

Those that follow me on Facebook will probably agree, that I'm goofy, obnoxious, a little self centered but I'm fun. I try to be as carefree as possible and I pass that down to my sons. My kids aren't daredevils, don't ride motorcycles yet, nor do much that'd be considered super dangerous at their young age. However, I do stupid shit all the time. I've done stupid stuff since being a kid, and I did with the permission of my parents when I was young. And sometimes (mostly) without their permission. It's made me who I am today.

Anything can hurt or kill you, we know this. That trip to the zoo? Yep. That school bus ride? Sure. A wild pitch to the head, in little league baseball? Happens all the time. I will allow my kids to do dangerous things as safely as possible, if that makes sense. I practice what I preach. That's one way I try not to suck as a parent.

Irresponsible to ride? No. It'd be irresponsible to not teach your children how to live.

Have fun, folks. You get one shot at this life.

When my son was born, I still had a need to go fast everywhere, especially with the group of long time friends. After a rather spirited ride home I realized that behavior like that really is irresponsible. It's not about having life insurance or not, it's about being around to pass on your morals, insights, wisdom, etc. The master plan has us bringing life into the world and the second they enter, all priorities are shifted to them and their needs to grow up and continue the cycle. Should we live in a cave and take zero risks and have no fun for ourselves? Certainly not but all our decisions should have leading them to adulthood as first priority.

The next night out with the guys, I cut out a picture of my son and taped it over the Tach. Him staring back at me grounded me and was a huge reminder that he is more important than any awesome blind sweeper or triple digit play time. Now, the guys all have kids of their own, some have sold their bikes, the rest have naturally slowed way down. The likely hood of the Grim Reaper crossing the center line and ending it all is still quite present, but I'm no longer waving my arms so he'll see me easier.

Kel NAILED IT!

I'm riding with mine now.

It's irresponsible to operate any kind of machine whether it be a hand drill or a motorcycle if one doesn't know how to do it properly and safely. The best way to learn how to do that is to go to an appropriate school relevant to the machine. Motorcycles don't kill people, people kill people on the roads.

My wife told me she would be pissed off had I not got my latest one. No, she isn't trying to get rid of me....; )

Chill and go for a ride I say.

Having ridden bikes since being a teenager; daily whilst in my 20's and done well over 150,000 miles riding bikes, it never occurred to me once since having kids that perhaps I should give up riding. Fact is I have more bikes now, since we started a family than before - although I don't get much time to ride them due to other activities I want to do. My wife knows I'm safe and don't take un-necessary risks and don't have a history of accidents, either on 2 or 4 wheels, it's never occurred to her (or any of my family) to suggest I shouldn't ride bikes, thankfully. If they did I'd laugh and refuse anyway. They sometimes say "ride safely" to which I reply seriously, "I always do".

I got my kids a CRM50 when our oldest was 5 years old. She now rides it on her own and her 4 year old brother can't wait to be able to reach the ground with his feet so he too can start riding. We're blessed with a home in the countryside surrounded by forests and a long driveway where they're safe, although I supervise when they do ride - just so I can be sure they're OK and give them pointers too. We take them on the beach and ride for miles together, me on a CRM250 with our smallest sitting on the tank, sharing the throttle control, our oldest riding beside me along the shoreline, as fast as she dare go. She's fallen off a couple of times (when chasing me on the dry sand after I warned her not to) but sand doesn't hurt!

Some here have said it's irresponsible NOT to teach our kids of the things that we are passionate about and I would fully concur. It was my father who gave me my first bike (A tuned Yamaha DT175) to ride on a beach as a teenager, as his way of sharing his passion for bikes and cars. Today my life is built around these passions which I too adopted and I have him to thank.
Just as my father did when I was a kid, I work on performance cars as part of my work and my 4 year old son takes a keen interest in mechanical things too.
Sure, you can skin your knuckles and cut yourself, get hurt, etc. using tools - We are building a full workshop at home & I'll give him all the opportunities to learn from playing with mechanical things as he gets older. 'm confident he'll know more than I do about these things in the end... it's not a bad thing to have skills & knowledge that others generally don't.

I think it would be irresponsible of me not to give our kids the opportunities to learn how to ride bikes well and later on how to build them too, if they're interested. My daughter isn't as keen but my son already is, I can see it in his eyes and his excitement each time I ride the CRM50 with him sitting in front. If I didn't teach him young and someday he went out on the road and killed himself, that would be a huge tragedy. So I prefer to give them the opportunities learn the required skills younger, and off the road at slower speeds. When he's 5-6 I have also promised my son a go-cart and we will take him racing once he's old enough. That way I know his passion, understanding and abilities will naturally grow. I don't care if he becomes a champion at young age, that's not the aim of introducing him to these things. I just want him to be safe. As he grows older he'll probably inherit my passion bikes and sports cars, so he needs to be able to understand them, I think.

Both my wife & I think it's a LOT more dangerous to allow kids to watch TV, play computer games, eat junk food & drinks, etc. Our TV isn't even connected to the wall. Each time we go out and find a TV they're mesmerized by the junk they see, so none of that crap in our home. Our kids are generally outside making things (Mess, usually!) climbing trees, getting muddy and just getting up to mischief which is what I used to do as a kid & loved it. On weekends when we can we take them camping so they get even more of playing in & around nature.

Getting back to adults riding bikes when they're parents, all I can say is - it's down to each individual. As someone with over 30 years experience I know I won't have a life-threatening accident on a bike as I never put myself in such dangerous situations (I ride defensively and treat every other road user as a potential danger for example), but it also depends on one's abilities, confidence, experience, etc.
I certainly wouldn't recommend a new parent with little or no experience and lack of sense to get on a bike as a new licence holder, I'd probably warn him of the statistitcs that say people of this category tend to have the most accidents on bikes but ultimately it's the choice of the individual of course.

As said, that is up to each individual and situation. For some pursuing their passion for motorcycles, working on, and ridding, the thrill, meditation, speed, freedom, release etc.. may provide them what they need to be a good parent.

Its my therapy. ...or you'd have to commit me to a looney house...well, maybe I should be there already. ....